It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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