Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We need to get me chipped asap
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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