My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
