What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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