I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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