I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
