So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
