I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
