I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
