I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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