Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize