i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
