The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i think i just lost a toe
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
