Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
