Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
