just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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