WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
