i permit you to call me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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