I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
This couple is walking their pig around campus
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
