Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
