if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I need water and some morals
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
