We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
