No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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