Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
