she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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