that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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