my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
