...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
