Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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