I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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