I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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