Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize