You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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