are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
