If i come over, it means nothing
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize