I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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