Christians are straight up FREAKS
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
