my sisters under your porch take her home
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I want a musical about memes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
