It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
