Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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