U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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