i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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