She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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