Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
