It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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