She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
