All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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