so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
