Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
