Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
