hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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