well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
