Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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