Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize