She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
