a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He? As in you personified your dick?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
