he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
