I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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