you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
