I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
