she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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