are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
