the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
