Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize