You made me cry and you don't even care
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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